


Anything but worthless

by Iliketowrite_2



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Low Self Esteem, Reader-Insert, insecure reader, self-hate, supernatural one shot, unconfident reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-28
Updated: 2017-02-28
Packaged: 2018-09-27 11:34:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10018598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iliketowrite_2/pseuds/Iliketowrite_2
Summary: When you start to feel like you're not worth anything and your self esteem is low, Dean is there to help you through it.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Thanks for reading this one shot! If you like it please leave a comment and I am 100% taking requests right now :) thanks!

You'd met Dean Winchester three years ago on a hunt and you both immediately clicked. Dean wasn't one to settle down with a woman but when he met you, he had to make an exception. In his eyes, you were the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. You were funny, smart, kind, and drop dead gorgeous. If only you could see through his eyes. You felt flawed, useless, unworthy. Why you? Why out of every beautiful, flawless woman in the world. Why you? Don't get me wrong you love Dean with all your heart and soul but you never felt...enough. 

You lay in bed, protected from the outside world from the warmth of your comforter. You have no intentions of getting up and facing reality today. Even with a beautiful man by your side, some days were just unbearable. And today was one of those days. You stare blankly at the wall ahead of you, trying to control your thoughts and emotions. Only, you can't. Because you feel like you have none. You feel nothing. You feel like nothing. Your mind is plagued with insecurities and anxieties and nothing seems to make it better. 

Dean knew about your low -or as you like to call it- non-existent self esteem. He was always there to help you through it, always there to reassure you, always there to remind you of everything loves. 'But what could he love? What is there to love. I'm just me.' You thought. 

You sigh as you look up to your bedside table reading the digital alarm clock which reads 3:46 pm. You should probably get up. Dean would be getting worried. You sighed as you ran a hand over your face and swing your feet over the side of the bed and onto the cold concrete ground below you. You reluctantly stand up and patter out of your shared bedroom. You drag yourself down the hall and you're about to turn into the kitchen, where Dean inevitably is, until you catch yourself in the mirror. Having thoughts about how useless you are was bad enough. You didn't need to hate what you looked like too. But the mirror was there. Laughing-mocking- you. Your hair is a dishevelled mess, you have dark circles under your eyes, not to mention the fact you look like you've come first in the 'worlds most unattractive' pageant. 

You can't help the quiver of your lip or small sob that escapes from your mouth at the sight. You're disgusting. Not only do you look disgusting, but you're completely useless! You can't do anything right. 

"Y/N?" A gravelly voice calls from the kitchen. You hear a pair of heavy footsteps coming closer and closer towards you. You shake your head to yourself and cover your mouth, trying -but failing- to muffle your sobs as you turn around and run back to the bedroom, slamming the door. You crawl into the unmade bed and pull the covers back around you, and the feeling of nothingness hits you hard. You stop crying. You stop thinking. You've just stopped. The only thing important right now, is the wall you're intently staring at and have no intention of doing anything else. 

There is a quiet knock at the door and a mention of your name but you hear none of it. You don't even want to. The door creaks open and you hear shuffles footsteps and a small 'click' signalling that the doors been closed again. See? You're too much of a burden to him that he can't even be around you. This is all your fault. Maybe if you were good enough-

Your thoughts were interrupted by a slight dip in the bed and a warm hand starts running through your hair. 

"Y/N? Y/N baby, what's wrong?" Dean coos. You simply pull your knees closer to your chest and hide your face under the covers, earning a sad sigh from Dean.   
"Sweetheart, please. Talk to me. What's going on?" The covers are pulled from your face and body, causing you to shiver slightly.  
"Y/n/n..." He lightly cups your cheek in his hand and wipes away the tears. You didn't know you'd been crying? When did you start crying? Suddenly, two strong arms wrap around you and he pulls you into a tight embrace on his lap. He slowly starts to rock back and forth with you in his arms and hum 'Hey Jude' by the Beatles. You snuggle in closer and bury your face into the crook of his neck, feeling his breath tickle your shoulder. Dean continues to rock back and forth as you slowly start to drift into a peaceful sleep in his warm, safe embrace. Your about to close your eye before he starts speaking.   
"What's wrong sweetheart?" He questions, his voice no higher than a whisper. Dean strains to hear what you say next, but he hears. And he can't believe what you say.   
"I'm worthless." You mumble. Hoping he wouldn't hear you. But him pushing you in front of his face to look into your eyes tells you otherwise.   
"What did you say?" He questions. He's stopped rocking and is looking you dead in the eyes, no expression in his voice or emotion on his face.   
"I'm worthless..." You whisper. His face dropped and you swore that it was so quiet you could hear his heart shatter into a million pieces by the words that had just come out of your mouth.   
"Baby-" he starts before being interrupted by you.   
"I'm worthless. I do nothing. And everything I actually try to do, I fail or mess up somehow. I'm not attractive, hell I'd win the 'most unattractive' beauty pageant if there was one. I'm so tired of being myself. I hate myself. An I don't understand why you don't hate me too. How could you ever love me? I'm broken, Dean. I'm not worth saving. I'm not worth anything. I'm worthless." Your voice wavered as you spoke, making you feel weak. It's your fault your like this. Dean shouldn't have to deal with you, or your problems. That's just what you do though. Hurt him.   
"Y/N look at me." He says in a monotone voice. You look down into your lap and shake your head. If you look at him, you know you'll start crying. You can't cry. Not again. He brings his thumb and forefinger to your chin and lifts your face up to meet his eyes, which are now brimming with unshed tears.   
"Y/n/n, I need you to listen to me. You are in no way worthless. You help me and SAMMY out so much, I don't know what I'd do without you. The only thing you 'mess up' at, is failing to see how truly beautiful you are. You are beautiful. I love you. And I'll love you so much, it'll make up for the love you don't have for yourself. Sweetheart, you are not broken. Okay? You're not broken. Sure, once in a while things get bad but ultimately? You're perfect. You're absolute perfection in my eyes. These voices in your head, telling you otherwise, are lying. You deserve so much more credit than what you give yourself. So I'm gonna show you. Every day I'm going to tell you how beautiful you are. Everyday I'm going to show you how much I love you." His words are full of nothing but love. The tears start to fall and you wipe them away, causing him to show a small smile.   
"C'mere" he says, whilst standing up. He grabs your hand and pulls you to the mirror, holding you in front of it.   
"You. Are. Beautiful. Look at you. You are absolutely stunning. And you may be beautiful on the outside, but on the inside? You have a better personality then anyone I've met in my entire lifetime. You're so smart, caring, funny, and you so god damn creative. Not to mention how much love you can show when sometimes all you feel is suffering. You are important. Especially to me. And I'm going to make you believe it. Because it's what you deserve. I love you so much Y/n. I love you for you. Not for who you think you should be or who you want to be. I love you just as you are. I love. You."

"I love you, Dean..."


End file.
